Spongebob shows up for work one day, and notices a huge sign on the door of the Krusty Krab that says in big red letters "Closed 4ever!"
Squidward walks up behind him, and sees the sign to, and starts celebrating
"Oh no! what do I do now?!" yelled Spongebob at the top of his voice.
"Well, I know what Im going to do" Squidward said as he threw his hat to the ground, and walked home.
Spongebob falls to his knees crying. Mr. Krabs walks up to him, and pats him on the shoulder "Its alright boy," said Mr. Krabs "I had to close it down someday, Im gettin old ya know."
"I know Mr. Krabs, but we made you so much money! And I made some money too."
"What?! I actually paid you to work?!" Mr. Krabs stumbles around a bit.
"Yes, and I was so happy!"Spongebob started crying again. "What am I gonna do!!"
Mr Krabs got his bearings, and said "I know! My cousin Kris Krabs has a job opening! Ill put in a good word for ya, and he'll call you for an interveiw." Mr. Krabs patted the poor sponge again on the shoulder, and said, "Im sorry lad, but these things happen" He grabs his golf clubs, and scuttles off.
Spongebob dragged himself home, and waited. The next morning his shell phone rang. The tired little sponge grabs it, and says "Hello?"
A loud voice asked "Is this spongebob Squarepants?"
"Yes"
"Hello, Kris Krabs, My cousin told me you needed a job?"
"Yes, what do you do?"
"Well, just come down to my office, and we will talk about it for a while."
"Ok, where do I meet you" he asked as he got out a paper, and pencil. It wasnt like he had anything else to do that day.
Spongebob walked The Kris Krabs Office. It was a cushy place. A nice sofa was in the waiting room, and he sat down, nervously waiting for Kris to come and see him. What does this man do for a living? he thought to himself
Kris Krabs walks in in a business suit, and walks over "Spongebob! How are ya?!"
"Im ok i guess"
"Great! Follow me please?"
Kris lead Spongebob through a maze of cubicles filled with fish "What is this place?" he asked innocently
"This is my boiler room" Answered Kris matter of factly " Do you know what a boiler room is?"
"Isnt that where they boil water? But I dont see any boiling going on..."
Kris laughed "No, my little spongey friend, its a place where all my sales come from, we do telemarketing here."
"OH NO!!! You are evil!!!"
"No we arent, we are just tryin to make a living like everyone else. The only difference is that instead of knocking on your door, we call you instead."
Spongebobs eyes glazed over, "You mean you want me to...to.."
"Yup! I want you to call all over the undersea world, and make me sales! And I will actually pay you to do it! How does 9 clams an hour sound?"
"Sounds too easy" He said suspiciously
"It isnt easy...you get alot of rude people on the phones, and they hang up on you and stuff, but I'll pay you just to call em, if you make any sales, then great! I'll pay you more!" Kris reached into his desk, "Here read this out loud for me please."
Spongebob grabbed the peice of paper, and read it aloud "Hello, can I speak with the person in charge of the household?" Spongebob nervously inhaled, and read on "This is insert name here calling for Krabs Koupons. How are you today?"
Kris interrupted him, "Thats great! Ok, Im going to have you sit with my top salesman and they will show you how to do it!" Kris stands, and walks him out to the 'boiler room'. He walks him through the room that was buzzing with alot of sound. "Here is Carl the Carp, he'll show you how its done." Turning to Carl, Kris says "This is Spongebob, hes new here, can you show him how its done?"
Carl looks up, and then down at Spongebob, and says "Sure!" Spongebob pulls up a chair, and sits next to Carl, and Kris says
"Listen to this guy, hes really good at this, and you will learn alot!" Kris scuttles off
"Ok, little yellow dude, you ever do this kinda work before?"
"No," said Spongebob, "My old boss is Kris's cousin."
"Oh, I see takin the back door in...good job!" just then his phone rang, and he turned around, and started talking as Spongebob listened intently. The rest of the day went by quickly. Spongebobs head hurt. all this information on how to do telemarketing was really weighing him down "Dont worry dude, once you get your sales pitch down, your head wont even know its in there." laughed Carl as they cleaned up to go home.
The next day Spongebob woke up, and jumped into his pants. His head didnt hurt at all! He headed to his new job yelling "Im ready!" the whole way there.
He walked in as Kris pulled up in his shiny "Shark u are" convertible. "man this guys no cheapskate like his cousin" Spongebob thot to himself as he walked thru the doors to the 'boiler room'
"Hi Spongebob!" said everyone as he walked in, he felt special, after all no one did that at the Krusty Krab for him. He walked over to Carls desk, and asked him if he was sitting with him again
"Not today little dude, I am sitting with you tho."
Spongebob suddenly felt hot all over, Oh NO! he tought to himself, what if he forgets what to say? "Do you have to?"
"Yup, I'll be listening to your calls for a few hours to see how you do."
"Ok," Spongebob sounded a little depressed
"Dont worry, you'll do fine, just read this." Carl said shoving a peice of paper into Spongebobs hands. It was the same script Kris had him read yesterday.
"Ok, where do I sit?" CArl lead him to an empty cubicle, and said, "sit rite here."
As he sat down ,and adjusted the headset on his head the phone rang, and he answered.
"Hello?"
"You called me man, Who is this?!" came the voice thru the headset.
"Oh yeah, uhhhh this is insert name here..."
"HAHAHA," the voice laughed as he hung up
Carl walks up behind him, "You use your name here..."
The phone rang again. Spongebob nervously answered the ring, and started reading the peice of paper. Half way through the 'script' the person on the other end asked "Why do I need the coupon book?"
Carl came up, and pointed to another peice of paper on the wall, and Spongebob read the line that Carl was pointing to. The caller said, "Ok, send me a book!" Spongbob was delighted to find out how easy it really was, and signed up the customer.
Carl walked up, and said, "See how easy it is?"
"Yes, and what do I do now?"
"Just do what you did just now, only do it over, and over!"
"YAY!!!" said Spongebob as he turned back around.
By the end of the week Spongebob had racked up sales like a madman! He had over 30 sales! His pay was not only the 9 clams an hour he was making, but he also got an extra 150 clams for all the sales he'd made. He was so happy, he could finally get Gary that snail condo he could never get when he worked at the Krusty Krab.
The moral...Telemarketers make ALOT more than you think, why else would they keep calling you?
Well, I know kinda lame for a fanfic, but theres my 400th post...take it as you want...PEACE!!!
