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Everything Else / Computer Illiteracy
« on: September 21, 2003, 01:24:55 pm »Quote
These are some things I found that are funny about computer illiteracy. You might be computer illiterate if:okay well you should not say words like **** **** ***** **** *** ******* ***** ****** okay :ohmy: little kids come here and read EVERYTHING!!! :excl:
you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge.
there is writing on the white-out on your screen
-you can't figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means :-)
someone asks you how to cut and paste, you say "just use scissors and glue."
you try to squash your disk to compress files in it.
you scream "Bloody ::Dolphin Noise::! What have i done wrong THIS time, you ***** computer?" every time your computer spits out "error".
you own your computer only 5 minutes before you crash it.
you try to find a game and can't, and you hit the monitor and scream, "Why won't you work?!?"
when the screen saver comes on you're almost positive that your computer really did crash this time. (
if there is white out on your computer screen.
if you don't use Windows because you religiously don't believe in icons.
you wonder who General Protection Fault is and what the ::Dolphin Noise:: the army wants from you.
the only reason you hang out with that *geek* next door is because he will fix you computer for free (
you think your mouse is a foot pedal
you own a Macintosh
you think the computer from which virus came actually created the virus
you think modem usage will show up on your phone bill.
you think the "escape" key will beam you out of the building in case of fire.
you don't know where the "any" key is.
you try to use the microphone on your PC to tell Windows 95 what to do.
you try to use the microphone on your PC to tell DOS what to do.
you use AOL disks as coasters. (Also a sign that you're a computer geek.)
you've used the CD-ROM tray as a cup holder.
you think Dilbert creates artificially high standards for managers.
you think laser printers receive print commands by laser beam.
you've ever tried to play a CD-ROM in a stereo.
you've ever tried to talk to a modem on the other end of the line.
you went shopping for Microsoft Bob for Dummies...
...and you really needed it.
you think Microsoft Windows is a rip-off, because it never does what you want it to. (Geeks have this problem too.)
Someone gives you a 5-1/4" Floppy and you fold it to fit in your 3-1/2" Drive and wonder why the drive doesn't work.
You immediately move to Mexico or Canada because you got an "Illegal Operation" error on your computer screen. (
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