Author Topic: The Winner: The New Video Game!  (Read 7984 times)

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Baseballpants53

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« on: July 13, 2005, 05:27:59 am »
SpongeBob: Here it is, Video Game Bottom!
Patrick: Never heard of it!
SpongeBob: Want to find intresting video games?
Patrick: YES!!!!!
(they go in)
SpongeBob: Look Patrick!
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: It says a Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy video game was just released 1 hour ago!
Parick: Let's go ask where it is!
SpongeBob: Hi Troy!
Troy(the cashier): Hi boys!
Patrick:Do you have that new Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy video game?
Troy: It's right next to you.
SpongeBob:Oh look Patrick! It's the new Mermaid man and Barnacle Boy Video game!
Patrick: Have anymore?
Troy: No. SpongeBob got the last one.
SpongeBob: How do you know my name?
Patrick(crying): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the last ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SpongeBob: No big deal Patrick. They'll have it someday. Oh wait. How about if you come to my house tomorrow, and play the mermaid man and barnacle boy video game at my pineapple!
Patrick: Yeah!!!!!
Troy: OK OK boys. That cost 15 dollars.
Patrick: I have 10!
SpongeBob: I have 5!
(they pay and then go home.)
SpongeBob: Good night Gary.
Gary: Meow.
(tomorrow at 7:00 AM)
(patrick rings the door bell)
Door Bell: Ding Dong!
SpongeBob: Why are you here Patrick? I just woke up!
Patrick: Ok i'll wait.
(2 hours later)
SpongeBob: Let's play!
Patrick: I call Barnacle Boy!
(they go play)
SpongeBob: Ok. How do you start this thing?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Gary!
(Gary gives SpongeBob directions)
SpongeBob: Ok let's play.
Patrick: OK!!
SpongeBob: It's me(Mermaid Man) and you(Barnacle Boy) vs. ManRay and the Dirty Bubble.
Patrick: Can we play now?

When I get 2 replies, i'll make the next part. Will Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy(SpongeBob and Patrick) defeat ManRay and the dirty Bubble? Read and find out!

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2005, 08:38:36 am »
Quote
SpongeBob: Here it is, Video Game Bottom!
Patrick: Never heard of it!
SpongeBob: Want to find intresting video games?
Patrick: YES!!!!!
(they go in)
SpongeBob: Look Patrick!
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: It says a Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy video game was just released 1 hour ago!
Parick: Let's go ask where it is!
SpongeBob: Hi Troy!
Troy(the cashier): Hi boys!
Patrick:Do you have that new Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy video game?
Troy: It's right next to you.
SpongeBob:Oh look Patrick! It's the new Mermaid man and Barnacle Boy Video game!
Patrick: Have anymore?
Troy: No. SpongeBob got the last one.
SpongeBob: How do you know my name?
Patrick(crying): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the last ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SpongeBob: No big deal Patrick. They'll have it someday. Oh wait. How about if you come to my house tomorrow, and play the mermaid man and barnacle boy video game at my pineapple!
Patrick: Yeah!!!!!
Troy: OK OK boys. That cost 15 dollars.
Patrick: I have 10!
SpongeBob: I have 5!
(they pay and then go home.)
SpongeBob: Good night Gary.
Gary: Meow.
(tomorrow at 7:00 AM)
(patrick rings the door bell)
Door Bell: Ding Dong!
SpongeBob: Why are you here Patrick? I just woke up!
Patrick: Ok i'll wait.
(2 hours later)
SpongeBob: Let's play!
Patrick: I call Barnacle Boy!
(they go play)
SpongeBob: Ok. How do you start this thing?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Gary!
(Gary gives SpongeBob directions)
SpongeBob: Ok let's play.
Patrick: OK!!
SpongeBob: It's me(Mermaid Man) and you(Barnacle Boy) vs. ManRay and the Dirty Bubble.
Patrick: Can we play now?

When I get 2 replies, i'll make the next part. Will Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy(SpongeBob and Patrick) defeat ManRay and the dirty Bubble? Read and find out!
[snapback]205090[/snapback]
it was pretty good.8/10

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2005, 02:01:17 pm »
sorry for double posting, but i want to hear the rest of the story!10/10!

Sheldon J. Plankton

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2005, 02:03:13 pm »
7/10, not the best I've seen. Waiting for it to get funnier.

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2005, 02:16:00 pm »
yay!now all we have to do is wait for baseballpants to come...

Banana

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2005, 06:45:57 pm »
I'm sorry, but I didn't find that funny...at all.  It was also very rushed.  D-.

-Banana
« Last Edit: July 14, 2005, 06:46:07 pm by Banana »

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2005, 08:21:09 am »
yeah, but give him a chince, he just started.

Baseballpants53

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2005, 10:05:29 am »
next part!
SpongeBob: Ready Patrick?
Patrick: Ready!
(SpongeBob and Patrick touch the controllers and go in the game)
SpongeBob: Where am I?
Patrick: The Mermailair!
SpongeBob: Right! The Mermailair!
Mermaid Man: Can you 2 help me and Barnacle Boy defeat ManRay and The Dirty Bubble in a fight?
SpongeBob: Yes, but we were supposed to control you 2.
Mermaid man: But it isn't a video game.
Patrick: Yes it is.
Barnacle Boy: No it's not.
SpongeBob: Yes it is.
Mermaid Man: OK it is.
Patrick: Can we play already?
Mermaid Man: Yes.
1 moment later
SpongeBob: I'm the quickster again!
Patrick: I'm the elastic waistband again!
The fight:
The Dirty Bubble gets The Elastic Waistband.
The Elastic Waistband stretches and pops the Dirty Bubble.
Dirty Bubble: I'm Back!
Barnacle Boy: Your supposed to defeat ManRay first.
The Quickster: OK.
The Quickster an The Elastic Waistband  help defeat Manray.
The Dirty Bubble catches The Quickster, The Elastic Waistband, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.
Th Elastic Waistband pops The Dirty Bubble.
The Quickster: Alright Patrick!
The Elastic Waistband: That's The Elastic Waistband.
3 hours later
The Quickster: We did it guys, we made it to the last level, level 1,000,000,000,000!
The Elastic Waistband: It looks 2 hard.
The Quickster: We can do it, though.
5 hours later
Mermaid Man: It looks like it's up to me now. vs. 2 ManRays.
ManRay: You'll never catch me!
Mermaid Man throws both ManRay's away, and Spongebob, Patrick, and Barnacle Boy come back.
Mermaid Man: I'm SO happy you're back!
SpongeBob: It looks like Mermaid Man defeated both ManRay's.  Patrick, they might have the game were in at Video Game Bottom again.
Patrick: Alright! Let's go!
(they both go to Video Game Bottom)
SpongeBob: Here it is Patrick.
Patrick: Alright!
(they go up to Troy)
Troy: Is they're anything I can do for you 2?
SpongeBob: Yes.
Patrick: We want the new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy video game.
Troy: 15 dollars please!
SpongeBob: I have 10!
Patrick: I have 5!
(they both pay and sit on the bench next to video game bottom)
SpongeBob: See Patrick? I told you you would get that new Mermaid Man &  Barnacle Boy video game!
Patrick:You're right! I'm going home and playing my new video game !
SpongeBob: And don't forget i'll be playing mine!(they both giggle)

The end. I'm kinda sorry this fanfic wasn't that funny (this part) But thanks for voting for the new video game!

The author of The New Video Game,
Baseballpants53

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2005, 10:20:59 am »
i kinda expected that each chapter would be them going in each level, but, it was okay.

Rabble

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2005, 04:25:53 pm »
1/10.

It didn't make any sense. It seemed very rushed also

Banana

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2005, 06:27:01 pm »
Still not funny, rushed, and hard to read.  I lost inerest.  F--.  You can do better.  See me after class.

Carefully think things out before putting them up on the board.  Type it in word first and re-read it a few times, adding changes along the way.

-Banana
« Last Edit: July 15, 2005, 06:27:59 pm by Banana »

Baseballpants53

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #11 on: July 16, 2005, 04:06:35 am »
:angry: Huh? why would you 2 be so mean to my fanfic? If you go to any of my topics/polls, I want you to be NICE. I'm 7 years old, the youngest member of the Forums.

Offline Spider-Boogie

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #12 on: July 16, 2005, 09:27:35 am »
That was not very good. 2/10.
April Fool: I'm the April Fool. What's up with that?
Timmy: It's official, this guy sucks. I wish he was somewhere else!
*Poof!*
Timmy: Where'd you guys poof him to?
*Both fairies give evil smiles*
April Fool: I never asked for this!
Jorgen: Shut up, or I'll have Chuck Norris roundhouse kick you in the face again!

Rachel is my USB wife <3
Vicky is also my USB wife <3

Spongefan123

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2005, 09:35:24 am »
Not funny at all. 3/10

Banana

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2005, 08:42:27 am »
Quote
:angry: Huh? why would you 2 be so mean to my fanfic? If you go to any of my topics/polls, I want you to be NICE. I'm 7 years old, the youngest member of the Forums.
[snapback]205918[/snapback]

I wasn't being mean necessarily, I was really just offering constructive criticism.  If I didn't like your story, I don't think I'll say "Oh wow amazing!"

-Banana
« Last Edit: July 17, 2005, 08:42:50 am by Banana »

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2005, 09:15:21 am »
common, give him a break!he's 7 years old!geesh!

Baseballpants53

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #16 on: July 17, 2005, 09:17:33 am »
Why does EVERYBODY hate my fanfic? I want you to be NICE. Just for that, I don't want ANYBODY to rate my fanfic. Why? Because everybody hates it! So please don't say anything like this "I didn't like this fanfic" or, I'll rate it a 0/10!  Say things like this. "I loved your fanfic!" Or like " I'll rate it a 10/10!"

Banana

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2005, 09:27:36 am »
I don't want to start a flame war here.  Let's just drop it, OK?  I gave you some tips on how to make a better story.  It wasn't necessarily a bad idea, but the way it was presented was.  If you work a little harder I'm sure you could make something really good.

-Banana

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #18 on: July 17, 2005, 10:00:12 am »
i pmed you ideas too.

weird_4

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #19 on: July 22, 2005, 10:21:12 am »
Quote
Why does EVERYBODY hate my fanfic? I want you to be NICE. Just for that, I don't want ANYBODY to rate my fanfic. Why? Because everybody hates it! So please don't say anything like this "I didn't like this fanfic" or, I'll rate it a 0/10!  Say things like this. "I loved your fanfic!" Or like " I'll rate it a 10/10!"
[snapback]206266[/snapback]
I liked your fic.

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #20 on: July 22, 2005, 10:23:41 am »
i did too, ot just needs a little bit of work.

weird_4

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #21 on: July 22, 2005, 12:18:27 pm »
I know.

Baseballpants53

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2005, 03:35:51 pm »
Quote
Quote
Why does EVERYBODY hate my fanfic? I want you to be NICE. Just for that, I don't want ANYBODY to rate my fanfic. Why? Because everybody hates it! So please don't say anything like this "I didn't like this fanfic" or, I'll rate it a 0/10!  Say things like this. "I loved your fanfic!" Or like " I'll rate it a 10/10!"
[snapback]206266[/snapback]
I liked your fic.
[snapback]208467[/snapback]
YES,YES,YES!! It worked!
« Last Edit: July 23, 2005, 03:36:10 pm by Baseballpants53 »

weird_4

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2005, 06:58:38 pm »
What worked?

Baseballpants53

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #24 on: July 25, 2005, 12:46:19 pm »
Quote
What worked?
[snapback]209256[/snapback]
That post I posted last week.

patrick12q

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #25 on: July 25, 2005, 01:44:35 pm »
huh?i'm confused.

weird_4

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #26 on: July 25, 2005, 02:44:50 pm »
I'm confused with you man.

Baseballpants53

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #27 on: July 26, 2005, 05:30:16 am »
Quote
I'm confused with you man.
[snapback]209898[/snapback]
I mean Post #17.

weird_4

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The Winner: The New Video Game!
« Reply #28 on: July 26, 2005, 10:15:25 am »
Oh okay then.