Yummy Yummy Pineapple
(SpongeBob and Patrick are blowing bubbles.)
SpongeBob- I'm hungry.
Patrick- I'm not.
SpongeBob- YOU'RE not hungry?
Patrick- April Fools!
SpongeBob- It's the middle of June, Patrick.
Patrick- Oh. (Smiles sheepishly with buck teeth and cross eyes. Also, his tongue is hanging out of the side.) Lets get ice cream.
SpongeBob- Okay! I'll get it.
Patrick- Awww! I wanna come, too!
SpongeBob- Not after last time.
(Flashback- The ice cream shop. Patrick is standing at the counter.)
Patrick- Give me two chocolates or die!
Clerk- Hey, man. Sorry, but you don't have any money.
Patrick (In a deep and loud voice.)- FOOLISH FISH CLERK TYPE GUY! YOU SHALL PAY! (Holds up a huge rock.)
Clerks (Now scared.)- Go easy on me, dude! I have 500 kids at home!
Patrick- Oh. I guess that is a lot.
Clerk- Phew!
Patrick- NOT!!! (Drops rock on Clerk.)
Clerk (High-pitched voice.)- OWWWIIEEESSS!
(Present.)
Patrick- Oh. (Does the smile again.) You know, I never got that ice cream.
SpongeBob- Stay here. I'll be back.
(Patrick sits in front of SpongeBob's house. A long time goes by. Patrick is playing with a paddle ball. More time passes. He is playing a Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy electronic game.)
Patrick- Stupid Dirty Bubble!
(Yes, more time passes. He is drooling.)
Patrick- I NEED FOOD! (Clerk is walking by. He has crutches, casts, and bandages everywhere. His eyes get big and he tries to run away, but he trips over his crutches.)
Patrick- What can I eat? (Looks around; his eyes land on SpongeBob's house.)
Pine...apple... NO! I won't eat my best friends house. (Stands there with an "I won't" look, then turns around and yells.) PINEAPPLE!
(Minutes later. Patrick is fatter than usual. Something inside him meows. We all know who it is.)
Patrick- MMMMM... yummy. (Realizes what he's done.) OH NO! WHAT WILL I DO? (Thinks. A light bulb appears over his head, but is not lit. He looks at it, and balls up his hands and closes his eyes, and makes a straining sound. Think of someone constipated and taking a dump, and 'scuse my language. Suddenly, Squidward walks by.)
Patrick- Squidward! You gotta help me! SpongeBob left to get ice cream after we blew bubbles and I waited and played paddle ball and a video game and couldn't beat the Dirty Bubble and drooled and ate SpongeBob's house and Gary! And also, a guy tripped!
Squidward (Smoke is coming out of his "ears".) - Whatever.
Patrick- You have to help me, or SpongeBob won't love me anymore!
(Squidward is silent for 3 seconds, blinks with a beepy sound, and is silent for 2 more seconds.)
Squidwars- You're an idiot. (Walks away.)
Patrick- What will I do?! (Burps a seed out. If you've seen Home Sweet Pineapple, you know what seed. Patrick, stupidly, throws it behind him. Into SpongeBob's little dirt circle thing where the pineapple is supposed to be. It grows back behind Patrick as he talks to himself.)
Patrick- I could lie! Yeah! "Hey, SpongeBob! Oooh, chocolate! Yum! Oh, by the way, killer sea donkeys came and ate your house! I tried to stop them, but...
SpongeBob (Back on the scene with ice cream.)- What about donkeys, Patrick?
Patrick (With big eyes and his mouth all puckered up)- SpongeBob? I'm sorry but... (Turns around. The pineapple is sitting right there.) ...I'm hungry! (Grabs his ice cream.)
SpongeBob- I'll eat with you in a minute. I have to check on Gary first. (Goes inside.)
Patrick- What a close call!
SpongeBob (Runs out.)- Gary is gone!
(Patrick's stomache meows.)
The End!
