When a girl is in a house all by herself in a horror movie, it is always raining or thunder and lightning outside.
In all junior highs, the popular girls have big boobs, while the geeky girls are flat-chested.
In movies when a character is brushing his/her teeth, they never get toothpaste on their mouth or rinse out their toothbrush when through cleaning their teeth.
Anybody eating chinese food always eats it out of the box with chopsticks.
If you try to get your ex partner back by going out with someone else in order to make your ex jealous, you will succeed but by the time you have achieved what you set out to do you will have fallen for the other person.
A good guy will never, ever, shoot a bad guy in the kneecap, even if it would be incredibly helpful to him.
In any musical, no matter how tough the gang and/or bad guy, they/he can always belt out a heartfelt melody in a deep and lilting baritone voice.
A woman´s shoes always make high heel clacking sounds, regardless which shoe type she wears. She can even wear sneakers...
Whenever at a bar or dance with loud music cranked up on high, the couple the audience sees talking have perfectly audible voices and can talk as though there is no music.
In most 80's action flicks bussiness men and security guards look like Huey Lewis or Bruce Springsteen.
The villain will always have thousands of henchmen working for him or a small army that follows him.
There is always a full moon when people goto bed. When the lights are turned off, a delayed light turns on, causing a blue cast in the room in which they could read by.
If you are going to be killed it has to be at a time when you are alone and it has to be at night and raining.
If you see something, then turn away, it wont be there the next time you look.
The antidote to any horrible, out-of-control virus can always be attained somewhere in the neighborhood of the other side of the world often from an exotic plant. Somehow these plants can always be reproduced to cure the epidemic.
It is impossible for two colleages of the opposite sex to have a completely proffessional relationship.
If you decide to launch into song there will always be backing music available.
If the movie is set in America any Australians will talk with a British accent.
Women of action can run, do karate, kickbox, climb ladders and perform highly acrobatic movements while wearing six inch heals and either a miniskirt or a tight leather cat suit.
If a person has an occupation that involves spending most of their working hours at weddings, their love life will be a disaster or non-existent.
If the bad guy is some kind of well-dressed senior chief of a big company, he´s most likely a brutal guy who likes to kick the hero into the face or some other vital parts of the body.
If you´re getting kicked into the face, there´s no real problem with that. Regardless how hard you´ve been kicked, you will stay unconcious for the maximum of five minutes. Then, after saying "Ouch!", you´ll be able to get on your feet again and rescue the world. You don´t have broken cheek bones or jaw fractures, of course. And there´s not even the slightest hematoma to be seen.
Every city - despite of its size - has at least one old lady who drives herbelongings in some old baby buggy or shopping cart around. If the lady is a guy he always uses a shopping cart and never a baby buggy.
If some old wino witnesses some sort of unbelievable event (aliens landing, Monsters eating people...), there are two possibilities. He either looks at the paper-wrapped bottle with a view of disgust, throws it away and starts a new life or he takes a deep breath and then slowly walks the other direction.
Radiation - despite of its amount - almost instantly results in burn wounds or big ugly abscesses with yellow fluid leakings. Oh yes, this is only for bad guys. Good guys will never suffer from radiation instantly. And the hero, of course, will not suffer from radiation at all...
German soldiers/terrorists seem to be able to pronounce only two phrases correctly: "Jawohl!" und "Herr General!". For all the other words they mostly use some kind of guttural Orc language. This assumes that they all have short names like Karl or Franz. Names with more than one syllable don´t occur because they wouldn´t be able to pronounce them, anyway... The more consonants a German surname has, the more evil the character is. If he also has some kind of aristocratic prefix he´s the incarnate evil. So, "von Strattmann" is likely more evil than "Strattmann".
If you ring the bell of a house and nobody opens after the third try the possibilities depend on the inhabitant´s character: If she is the only important witness she almost surely lies slaughtered in the bath tube. If he is the only important witness he almost surely lies on the ground with a bullet in his head. If, by some obscure circumstances, you find the person alive, unbothered and unharmed, you´re to be sure that the poor guy/girl will be killed soon after you leave. If she holds some vital information about the villain and belongs to the villain´s labour/group she most likely is gone shopping and is about to return just in the second you found the vital information. So, no danger here... If he holds some vital information about the villain and belongs to the villain´s labour/group he most likely enters the room soon after you started the search. No real danger here, too, since those guys always ask "What are you doing here!" before they draw their weapons. So, either talk yourself out of the situation or knock the guy out.
Male teenagers who are new to town always suffer from the "New Kid Syndrom", which means that nobody likes them, unless they make some new odd friend. This new friend most likely is one of three types; 1)Another underdog kid with odd abilities and odd habits. 2) An old guy who teaches some kind of weird martial arts voodoo. 3) Some crazy animal like worn-out race horses, unbelievable clever dogs, dolphins, Orcas, Wolfes or wild cats. By this, they usually get the attention of the hottest girl at school, whose
boyfriend is anything other than happy about that. They normally start a fight at one point, the animal gets hurt (poor thing), the girl slaps her former boyfriend, kisses the new kid, all are happy, the end.
For the female teenagers there is only one way to go; they find a new friend (odd girl, dance teacher, old lady) who transform them into Cinderella. So she first gets attracted by the school´s Idiot (seen from the sight of an adult: football star, best looking bully, is barely able to read or write) but later chooses the friendly, shy guy that she got to know on her first day, all are happy, the end.
The janitor of a school is either a frightening old guy who hates children or he is a unbelievable friendly person who is always there for the underdogs.
In every comedy the main character´s boss is a complete and utter idiot. In real life this type of guy would even have diffiuties to get the job as a street cleaner but in movieland they all seem to have good, highly paid jobs.
If the title "Professor" is connected to some kind of important invention, the inventor is most likely a white male in his 60s w/ scruffy hair-doo, metal-rimmed glasses and at least one unearthly beautiful AND smart daughter. If he has also a son, it´s most likely that this son might betray his father by stealing this important invention. If he has two sons and no daughters, one of the sons is good, the other is evil.
If there by some odd circumstances are commercials on Radio/TV in a movie, they are almost about ridiculous things that noone would ever buy. It´s most likely that only the product´s name is mentioned and you have absolutely no idea what it might be. Like "Stroodles! Buy one, get one free!"
If Teenagers find themselves locked in the house and lots of scary things happen (aka masked people running around with axes, knifes or chainsaws) they eventually try to call the police after they found their best friend´s head in some odd place (usually the fridge or the wardrobe) or slip on some litres of blood in a room where their best friend´s hanging upside down from the ceiling. But no matter what they try (normal phone, dad´s radio set, cellphones) they never get through.
If you move to a strange village where strange things happen, you´re to be sure that half of the townsfolk is involved while the other half is on vacation.
It never fails that right when the girl yells out to her boyfriend she's gonna go take a shower, the killer happens to be close by and then creeps in the bathroom to kill her. When the girl hears a small creak in the floor boards she calls out her boyfriend's name and then gets out of the shower wrapping herself in a towel. She then goes around the corner to have the killer bring her to her death.
Whenever the main hero is about to confess something important to another character (usually a love interest) they both have something to say. The hero lets the other person go first, and whatever they say makes the hero not want to say what he was about to say. When asked what they were going to say, they say something unimportant like "Nice dress".
All simulation computers used by any government agency (i.e. NASA) should be discounted in the face of the intuition of new/inexperienced/underdog characters, who will inevitably sway their doubters at a critical moment by screaming, "Their computers are wrong! I know I'm right!"
People never get hickups , sneeze, or cough during movies.
Whenever the hero crawls through the ventilation system, the vents are never hot or cold. That way, the hero never has to burn himself on the hot metal while he is eluding the villain. Likewise, he will never have to shiver if the air conditioning is on.
Clapping finales in the movies often follow the same rules. First, there will be complete silence after the hero accomplishes a task or gives an inspiring speech. Second, one solitary person (this is often someone who means a great deal to the hero. The hero might have even had relationship problems with this person) will begin to clap slowly and rhythmically. Third, the solitary clapper is slowly joined by another...and then another...and then another clapper until ultimately everyone is clapping for the hero. ex. Cool Runnings, Strictly Ballroom, Can't Buy Me Love, etc.
Cleaning ladies in movies always wear black and white.
Butlers always speak in a monotone voice and are very unhappy.
The murderers in horror movies always have to be some nerd seeking revenge on the popular kids.
Whenever you see kids playing video games, they're always pressing random buttons constantly on the controller and making facial expressions while tilting their bodies side to side.
A woman falls in love with a superhero whose alter ego is madly in love with her. Eventually, she rejects the superhero for the "mild-mannered" alternate identity, but it is only when she kisses him for the first time that she realizes who he truly is. This cliche is never applied to men who fall in love with female superheroes. Ever.
If your dream is shown, then that dream is one of three things:
1) A perfectly accurate memory of some ancient time;
2) A completely correct vision of the future, or;
3) A 100% perfect psychic sending from the present.
If you're a male police officer, you will lose your job due to catching the wrong man and embaressing the police force. Don't worry, though; you will continue with the case on your own and eventually catch the right guy.
The president/leader of any organization will be in a swivel chair. You will start talking to them, and only when you enrage them will they turn around.
Although the most experienced sports team that have tried and tried and practiced and practiced for months before the big tournament can never win the trophy, a small group of geeky misfits will win it with ease.
Horror movies are the only movies where you can see a skinny, blonde chick start a chainsaw.
Anyone that's out in the ocean will be eaten by a shark.
There's always a midget in a carnival.
Phone lines are always cut off or busy when a person is trying to call for help when running from a murderer.
Guns never have to be reloaded. Characters will shoot forever.
The boss is always a cynical jerk.
Despite the character's job, they're always working in a cubicle.
All old ladies in movies have cats.
Lifeguards never hear your cries of help on the beach. Never.
In teen movies, the football player ALWAYS goes out with the cheerleader.
Throwing spitballs and passing notes are the ONLY two forms of amusement in a classroom when it comes to movies.
There's always thet weird, 'dum dum DUM DUM' sound of music playing in the background when a character is hiding from the murderer in their closet.
Everyone wears their shoes on inside the house.
All teens have a huge poster of the opposite sex on the back of their door.
Teens are always confronted by their lover/crush/friend the EXACT moment they open their locker.
Someone always falls with their tray in the cafeteria.
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