Uh, ya can't do that, Squid old buddy.", said SpongeBob. "And why not, might I ask?",
asked Squidward. "Well, me and Patrick kinda, well, took your gas for our Reef Blowers.", answered Sponge. "Why you I oughta!", yelled Squidward.
"Hang on there a second.", remembered Plankton. "That big, four-eyed, blubbery nincompoop,
Bubblebass, is driving a taxi for that company now. When we get to the SSS, we can just roll a doughnut down a hill when we get there. I'll exsume the doughnut from
Patrick's bellybutton.", concluded Plankton. "Hey! I don't wanna give up my stored doughnut.", said Patrick; but it'll be worth it to get a cream-bath. I love cream!"
"Er, okay Patrick.", said Krabs. "Come on, daddy! I got a date with my ex Billy's cuter older brother, Bobby Fishkins next week! We can't get back late. Let's go now!"
demanded Pearl." "Pearl, when have I ever dissapointed you?", asked Mr. Krabs. "Why, all I've ever done for you was nothing short of amorous behavior!" "Waaaah I was
right!", cried Pearl. "You do hate me!", she continued, "Why darlin, of course not!", Krabs responded.
"I've just finished phoning Bubblebass on my shellphone.", said Squid. "He'll be here soon." Bubblebass showed up in his cab. They all got on board the cab-boat.
"Finally, were on our way! At long last.", said Mr. Krabs. "Yaaaaay!", yelled SpongeBob and Squidward simultaneously. Squidward pointed out, "My back has been killing me.
a nice steam bath will suit me just beee-uutifully." "Next stop, Sizzling Spring Sauna!", said Mr. Krabs. Suddenly, the whole cab shaked from a huge rumble--it was Bubblebass'
stomach. "Not quite.", said Bubblebass. "I am very hungry and I can not operate when I'm hungry. MMMM, hotdogs. Sumptuous!", he said whislt gawking at Mr. Krabs' eyes.
"Stay back, ya disgusting blubber fart! Your presence is becoming increasingly unbearable eye poisen to me eyes!", said Krabs. "So back off, ye blimp, or you'll be at
the business end o me cutlass!" The jellybean I lost!", Bubblebass said, noticing
Plankton. "In exchange for permission to go to the Krusty Krab and one of you whip
me up Lard-fudge-patty greasy supreme, 10X10 pan-drippings style, I shall drive you all the way to the way to the SSS free from charge. The fare will be on me."
Bubblebass pulls up to the KK. "Wonderful!", answered Mr. Krabs. "Mr. Squidward, get in the kitchen and whip him up one! On the double Mr. Squidward."
"ERRRRRRRRG!!!", yelled Squidward. "Can't things ever just go smoothly? Must this interminable tortue never come to a stop?! I refuse to!", he continued. So Mr. Krabs
threatened, "Get in there or your--". "Yeah, I know! I'm fired!", interrupted Squidward. "So aye-aye, sir." Squidward finished Bubblebass's request. "I have a voracious
appetite.", said Bubblebass. The patty was dripping with grease, lard, a five cans of mayo, smothered in chocholate, saturated in pan-drippings, and was topped off with
marshmellows. It weighed five pounds, but that didn't stop Bubblebass from gulping it down in one bite. "GAAAH!", yelled Bubblebass. He clutched his chest. He was dead
before he hit the ground, the ultimate result of a decades old binge-eating habit. But where was Squidward? Minutes later, Eugene told SpongeBob, "Go see what's taken 'em."
SpongeBob entered the Krusty Krab. "Squidward!? Yooo hoooo!", he called. Upon entering the kitchen, he gasped. He discovered Bubblebass' corpse, and pitiful Squidward
was under him. "Ahhhgghgh! My back! OOOOOOWWW THE ANGUISH! Get me the ::DOLPHIN NOISE:: out this instant, SpongeBob!", demanded Squidward. Pearl walks in and vomits at the
sight of a dead Bubblebass. "How gross!", she yells. "That is definitly NOT coral." She helps SpongeBob get Squidward out. A moment later they walk out. "Where the hallibut
is Bubblebass?", asked Mr. Krabs. "He, eh, died.", answered SpongeBob. "Oh tartar sauce! What'd he have ta go and do that for?!!", hollered Krabs. "Oh well, we'll take this
cab anyway. Where the devil are the keys?", he wondered, unaware that Bubblebass more than likely ate them(another bad habit of his). "Oh for kelp's sake, I'll fix
your car, Krabs.", offered Plankton. "And we can finally persue your lackluster vacation, with your "free" pretext and all." "OOOH MY BACK! NEPUTUNE HAVE MERCY!", moaned
Squidward.
A few hours later, Plankton had repaired Mr. Krabs' boat, and they all got onboard. "DADDY, YOU BETTER GET US THERE THIS TIME!", screamed Pearl, with much anger.
"Shut your trap, ya spoiled vanity brat!", yelled Plankton. "Oh my gosh, this ain't good.", whimpered SpongeBob. "You pipsqueak! How dare you!", came back Pearl.
"Atleast I don't live my life in a mirror, for all the skin-deap things! Annoying brat! Krabs is too cheap to spoil you how'd you turn out this way anyway?!"
"And who are you but some insidious little failed recipe thief?", answered Pearl. "Enough!", roared Krabs! I won't have this bickerin on the way to me free vacation!"
"Free, free, money, free, blah blah blaaaah! I swear, you cheepskate Krabs! When they give you your autopsy all they'll find'll be a cash register!!" "What about me?!",
complained Squidward. I hate my dull job at your low-life restraunt! You give me all work and little leisure for minimum wage and OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRGGHHH! MY BACK!
AND THE ONE TIME I GET A VACATION PERIOD, LET ALONE A FREE ONE, I GOT TO GO WITH THESE NITWITS, SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK, WHO DESTROY WITH LITTLE LEISURE I GET! WHAT KINDOF
LEISURE IS THIIIIS?!!! "YEAH WELL BLIP BLAD RRRROOA $%^^##@#$%&&*(^#^&%#@#$%^&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&~~~~``", yelled them all simultaneously, then suddenly, they
arrived at they're destination. "WOOOOOOOOOOHHHHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOO!",yelled Squidward. "Were heeeeeerrrreee!!!" They all ran out of the boat. "This is what I call living!",
yelled Mr. Krabs. "Weeeee're ready!", yelled SpongeBob and Patrick Star. "Finally, a little enjoyment in life, said Squidward and Plankton together." "I guess I am a little
high-strung and can use a little relaxation.", said Pearl. They sprinted up to the gate, reading the sign "Welcome to the Sizzling Spring Sauna" all the way. And no sooner did
they all reach the gate than...well...what did they see? Nothing less than a chain around the front gate with a note on the door reading: "Closed indefinitly, due to poisen
gas leak." All their jaws drop to the floor. It reamined silent for 2 minutes until Patrick said, "Well that was a ripoff." "I should have known.", said Squidward.
I can never, ever, ever, ever have a nice, peaceful time. Ever." The pungent smell of the place began to reek. "So much for that Superlative vacation.", added Plankton.
"Well, no use killing ourselves over something we have no control over.", said Mr. Krabs. "Morbid, depressing, I know. But that's life and you can let it get you down.
But that big fat globe will just keep spinnin around. And who are we? Just a bunch of saaaaad sea creatures. Let's go.", he said. They boarded his boat, now replete with
dissapointed sea creatures. But Mr. Krabs convinced them all, in their sorrow, that dissapointment was a part of life.
The vacation proved to be a flash in the pan. Mr. Krabs commenced driving them all back to town.
"Atleast anything can't get any worse.", thought Squidward.
"Aw, gee.", said Mr. Krabs. "I haven't been this despondent since I lost Mrs...", he stops, because he catches himself. "Oooooh, you're talking about Mrs. Puff again,
arn't you Mr. Krabs?, teased SpongeBob. "Watch it, boy!", snarled Krabs. "Oooohooo Kasanova Krabs, you're old lady had junk in the trunk.", chuckled Squidward. "I'm
warnin' ya!", warned Mr. Krabs. What followed was taken even further when Patrick guffawed, "Haw haw! I hear on your third date, when you knocked on her door, Mrs. Puff
had nothing on!" "Well, I think she had the TV on...", feeblily responded Mr. Krabs. "Atleast I could hold on to Karen!", boasted Plankton. "That's it! I oughta throw
you nitwits all overboard!" "Tis better to have loved and...", began Squidward, but interrupted by a big-meaty-claw punch in the nose. All the passengers apologized, and
said they were just saddened. "We know you tried to do something good for us.", said SpongeBob. "Yeah, daddy, we all love you. Thanks for the thought, which alone counts,
even if you were still being cheap all the way.", said Pearl. "Ah, me darlin' Pearl. I shall sniff me airfreshener, which makes me think of her, and money. Me two
girlfriends. Me two beloveds.", thought Mr. Krabs. His airfreshener was most especially dear to him, for Pearl had given it to him as a gift, one father's day many
yesteryears prior. So he closed his eyes to smell his love, his life, his all. Never in the annals of undersea history had ever yet been recorded, and never have since,
the scream let out by Mr. Krabs, upon discovering no smell. No smelly smell that smelled. No fresh air. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! WHERE'S ME MONEY-SCENTED
MONEY AIRFRESHENEEEEEERRRRR?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
??" They were about halfway home, back into town by this time. "You're missing whattt?!", asked Squidward. "ME AIRFRESHNER!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! IT WAS HERE BEFORE I LEFT! NO NOT THIS NO MORE NOT THIS WILL HAPPEN TO MEEEEE! He was foaming at the mouth. He was gesticulaing like a
mad krab as he screamed. Then he did something that put them all in horrible danger. He stopped his car on the busiest highway under the ocean. MAC trucks zooooomed by.
Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs booty was haning out the car, the front driver's side car door open, as he searched frantically for his precious airfreshener. "You'll get us
all killed!!!", screamed Squidward at the top of his lungs. "DADDY STOP!", yelled Pearl. "Mr. Krabs, you can't stop your car on the highway!" "NOOOOOOO! MUST FIND
AIRFRESHENERRRR!", Krabs yelled. "You sick, twisted, greedy krab!", boomed Plankton as boats and trucks honked sped by, some coming within inches of hitting them.
"You're not gonna get me killed!", he continued. He pulled out a neutron disintigrator raygun he had invented. "SILENCE YA LITTLE GREEN SNOT WITH ANTENNAS! YOU MESS WITH
ME AND YOU WILL PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME FORMULA AND YOU CAN'T TAKE ME LIFE! I'LL TAKE YOURS!!! NOW PUT THAT AWAY AND HELP ME FIND ME..."
Plankton fires the shot.
All of Bikini Bottom attends the funeral of Mr. Krabs.
But that is just what went through Plankton's mind. In reality, Mr. Krabs ripped his passenger-side vanity mirror
off his boat and deflected the blast. It bounces back on Plankton's
gun. It malfunctions. KABAAAAANNNNG. The blast sends Plankton flying out of the boat, disintigrating his left antenna, and onto the street, where he is swept up by a
streetsweeper. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!", screams Pearl. "Shut up!", yelled Patrick. "Can't you clam-brains see I'm trying to take a nap?!" Mr. Krabs gets back in the
boat and floors it, now completly insane, driving 125MPH, into on-going traffic, on the highway. "Daddy, please stop!", pleaded Pearl. "That airfreshener was a piece of junk!
It only cost sixty-seven cents!", she screamed. "And I didn't even buy it for you Daddy! I was busy at school I recall! I distinctly remember giving Squidward $0.67 I found
in my pocket it pick it up for me! "It's true!", cried Squidward. "Pearl didn't buy it! I did!" "I'm sorry, Daddy! You were always cheap with me, so I spared little for
you!! It was junk!!", nervously stated Pearl, with abundant desperation. "NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! YOU'RE LYING! WHAT MAKKKKKKES YOU LIEEE!? YOU ALWAYS LOVVVED ME!!!!!!!!!
AND I'LL NEVER STOP TILL I FIND ME BEAUTIFUL SCENT!", yelled the krab with the warped mind. "Please Mr. Krabs! Please stooooopppppppp!", whined SpongeBob. But he drove on.
He zoomed so fast off the highway, narrowly escaping death through cheese-graters, through educational television, through sea mines and chaos. He drove into the deepest,
darkest, most eerie cave in Jellyfish Fields, that even SpongeBob, in all his valor, had never dared enter it. Big Lenny, the daddy of all jellyfish, flew into the boat
and strung Patrick on the backside. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!", he hollored, for only one other had been stung by Big Lenny and lived, a doctor named Man-o-War.
Patrick screamed in agony and fell on SpongeBob, bounced off him and whacked Squidward in his nose, breaking it. "GGGGGAAAAHHHHH! KILL ME! KILL ME! MY NOSE! MY BACK!
MY HAIR-RRRR-RRRR!", wept Squidward. Patrick was fortunate to have been stung on the buttocks, or he would not have lived; a huge red horrendous bump hurt Patrick on his
right buttcheek, while Krabs kept driving like a madman. He was now going at around 175MPH, so fast, the spidometer spun around three times and snapped off into Squidward's
eye. "WWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?
!!!!!!!", Squidward cried out. "Caught a little shrapnel there, eh Squidward?", said SpongeBob.
"MUUUUUST-FIND-AIRFRESHENER!!!", yelled loveable you-know-who. He zoomed back onto
the highway. "I'M COMMIN MY LIL' AIRFRESHENER! I'LL SAVE..."--THUD! "AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!", yelled Pearl. "You've ran over Bobby Fishkins!! HE'S DEAD!"
"QUIET, DEAR! YOU'DA MISSED THE DATE ANYWAY! NOW KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR ME AIRFRESHENER!", yelled Krabs. "HOW EVIL MEN CAN BE!", Krabs hollered. "AND THEY CAN BECOME
INCREASINGLY MORE SO! ME ME AIRFRESHENER...IT'S ALWAYS THERE LOVING ME LOOKING AT ME! THE ESSENCE LIES IN ME AIRFRESHENER'S LITTLE HEART!", Krabs yelled. He was
foaming at the mouth more than ever. "I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!", cried SpongeBob. "You crazy old fool! Can't you see the error in your reasoning?!", attempted Squidward,
by persuasion. "I'D RATHER BE WRONG WITH ME AIRFRESHENER THAN RIGHT WITH YOU!", fired back Mr. Krabs. "Zing!", quipped Patrick. "Shut up Patrick.", said Squidward.
Whilst on the highway, Mr. Krabs' boat nearly hits Grubby Grouper, "Whooooaaaa!!! This ain't Tubular!", yelled Grubby. He swerved off the highway down a hill to his
demise. Boats honked and slammed into egother, houses burned to the grounded. Explosions...everywhere....everywhere the eyes could see...treachory, treachory, treachory.
Traffic backed up for miles due to the crazy boat of Mr. Krabs, accidents encompassed the highway, bridges were engulfed by flame. And Krab's boat survied though every
dangerous second. Suddenly, Mr. Krabs saw a tear roll down his daughter's eye in the side mirror. He came back to sanity...well not completly, but enough anyway.
He looked back and saw what he had done. "As painful as it is, I must let it go.", said Mr. Krabs, angrily. "I'll take us all home. You all happy now?!!", he said.
After hours of this zany affair, in the worst day of all of their lives, Mr. Krabs drove home. "Unnnngh...", moaned Squidward. "Hey, it's almost time for work!", said
a happy SpongeBob. Just as Mr. Krabs was pulling up to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward's houses, he said, "I found the airfreshener! I'm sitting on it."
THE END.