Topic: Rockbottom Mystery

[.com person]

Hi, I'm doing a Spongebob fanfic. ( cheers) I've been doing anime fanfics alot lately but this time decided to make a cartoon one, so here goes. I don't watch it ( as in Spongebob)  much but hope to improve that in the future.  :biggrin:  ( written in script format) The rockbottom is one of the best episodes, in my oppion, I have seen so hmm guess what happens... Read on.....

Chapter 1:

Narrator: Ahh in Bikini Bottom, everything is normal except...

Mr Krab: Money, Money, Money ( you know how Krabs acts when he thinks of Money, actually various ways but they are all connected)

Narrator: Never mind.

Narrator: Let's visit Spongebob and see what he's up to

Spongebob: Gary, guess what I'm going for my license ( all excited)

Gary: Meow ( again)

Spongebob: Know Gary, I know I've failed so many times but it's time to not give up

Gary: Meow ( you never did)

Spongebob: You are right Gary

Spongebob: Well I'm out, see you later Gary ( goes out of door). I'm ready ( ... you know the catchy ready drill)

Patrick: Spongebob

Spongebob: ( looks behind him)

Patrick: Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spongebob: What!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and cliffhanger here, big one ( don't expect me to finish this right away)

 

[AppleNick]

Simple beginnings can sometimes hype me for the future. 7/10.

[spongey675]

6.7 of 10

[Compwhiz128]

8-10 i say

[livestoSURF]

7/10

[.com person]

I hate you guys, you guys insult me  

Just kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 2:

Patrick: ( in the bus waving his hands up and down) They got me, they captured me ( car zooming 80 miles an hour)

Spongebob: ( starts freaking out) I'll save you, I hope ( starts running after bus)

Patrick: Hurry Spongebob, Hurry ( screams and yells)

( Bus shoots missles hitting spongebob)

( Bus dissapears)

Spongebob: Where did the bus go, hmm, I know where I should go

Knocks on Squidwirds door

Squidwird: ( answers)

Squidwird: Spongebob ( angry) what are you pestering me for?

Spongebob: We got to save Patrick, Squidwird!!!!!!!

Squidwird: Out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spongebob: But squidwird

Squidwird: But nothing Spongebob



 

[livestoSURF]

Pretty good.

[Squiddy]

I thought that the second chapter was a lot better then the first, but still good!

[.com person]

Chapter 3:

Spongebob: Squidwird but we have to save Patrick ( Spongebob demanded)

Squidwird: How about I say this " NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

( Squidwird kicks Spongebob out)

Spongebob: Dang, why is he so angry ( confused and sad)

Spongebob: ( in determined mode) No matter, I'll save Patrick

Sandy: Hi Spongebob ( walks up to SB)

Spongebob: Sandy, something terrible happened to Patrick

Sandy: He didn't cut his finger preparing that gross chesse, did he ( looking angry)

Spongebob: No, Sandy he was kidnapped

Sandy: Say what ( worried)
 
Spongebob: Kid Napped

Sandy: Oh my ... we have to save him

Spongebob: But Sandy, I totally lost him and its been hours

Sandy: Hours???

Spongebob: Ya, I was blinded by shooting missles and then I woke up

Sandy: Where were you when you were blinded ( looking confused)

Spongebob: Out in the middle of the road

Sandy: No body hit you ( with a perked up confused eyebrow)

Spongebob: No

Sandy: This sounds just like the earlier incident in the news

Spongebob: What incident

Sandy: In the news this morning is that every 5 days somebody is kidnapped and taken far away but when people go after the bus they are knocked out for what seems like hours but its accidently mind tricking games and whats worse

Spongebob: Oh no ( freaking out)

Sandy: the kiddnapper is out to kill

Spongebob: ( screams)

[.com person]

I won't post more till you guys tell me what you think.

opps I'm sorry for the doubule post

[Squid's Bro]

GREAT! i want to know what happens. it's great and suspenseful

[.com person]

Wow, I thought this topic was going to be dead forever, no offense.  
I'll get right to it.  

[Squid's Bro]

i can't wait

[spongey675]

new chapter!i love it now

[.com person]

Chapter 4:


* At rock bottom*

" Take him to the cell", one demanded.
" Is a cell like an icecream cone" ( I'm sorry but its hard to portray Patrick, no offense), said Patrick.
" Ya without the pudding", one said.
" I love Pudding!!!!!!!!!", said Patrick.
" Then you'll love the cell", the guy in the jail said.
" Oh goody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", said Patrick.

* At Squidwird's place *
* kisses clarinet*
" I dedicate this romantic piece to you, my sweetheart", said Squidwird.
Starts to play clarinet comes out sounding pretty stupid.
* breaks clarinet*
" I give up!!!!!", he yelled.

* At the Krusty Krabs*
Spongebob comes racing in.
" Mr Krabs!!!!!!", said Spongebob panicking.
He went into Mr. Krabs office.
Mr Krabs was counting his money. ( what a surprise)
" Spongebob, you don't need to come early today to take care of the patty vault", said Mr. Krabs.

Comments?
A rating?
Anything even if its a flame so I can improve.