Author Topic: Bikini Bottom Robbery  (Read 7321 times)

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spongey675

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« on: September 19, 2004, 07:22:48 am »
BIKINI BOTTOM ROBBERY
           PART 1!
Narrator:ahhh what a perfect day in bikini bottom lets check in on our old friend spongebob
(alarm blows)
SB:its april 25th gary,You know what thats means!
gary:meow
SB:thats right its annoy squidward day!,HEY SQUID YOUR MUSIC STINKS!
SQ:ARRRGHH,WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MUSIC PUNK?
Patrick:He's right squid your music is so bad a sea dog wouldn't even like it!
PA and SB:heh heh heh HA HA!
SQ:WHY ARE YOU FLAMING MY MUSIC???!!!
SB:because its our national holiday Annoy squidward day!
SQ:No its not that was in january
SB:ohh,so what,your music stinks and you live in an itsy bitsy head
SQ:OH yeah lets see you play!
PA:okay but we signed up for clarinet lessons last year and we are advanced players.
(good music plays)
Crowd:WHAOOO!
SQ:GRRR,i'm gonna-------
11:00 PM:
SB:good night gary
GA:meow!
(snores)
(Door squeals open)

TO BE CONTINUED.......
what do you think so far?please tell me

1luke12

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2004, 10:17:02 am »
Very good for a first fan-fic!

Rabble

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2004, 10:21:25 am »
Its sorta Copying my fan-Fic But its good for A first

6.9/10
« Last Edit: September 19, 2004, 10:21:46 am by Evilspongee »

spongey675

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2004, 11:23:54 am »
thanks, part two will be later like 1 hour from now

Offline IceFox

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2004, 12:25:13 pm »
Pretty good, but it sounds like "Master Thief.: I like how the firast part, doesn';t imeditly have a robbery. 9/10

spongey675

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2004, 12:39:44 pm »
PART 2

?:ha ha ha i'll steal spongebob's spatula so he won't get payed and i'll get the credit as fry cook!
(alarm blows)
sb:Good morning Bikini Bottom!okay now all I have to do is get my spatula and__
AHHHH!
PA:whats wrong sponge?SB:i can't find my spatulaPA: thats terrible!
SB:do you know where it is?
PA:nope sorry
SB:well I have to get to the krusty krab before I get fired
AT THE KRUSTY KRAB
SB:MR.krabs
KR:what is it  me boy?
SB:I lost my spatula do ou know where it is?
KR:no,but i do know you need your spatula by the end of the day or your fired!
end of part 2
what do you think now is it a thumbs up or down?

NOTE:Please post so I don't double post
« Last Edit: September 20, 2004, 06:15:17 pm by spongey675 »

spongey675

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2004, 05:06:59 am »
i'm sorry to double post but no one would post so heres
PART 3!
SB:Fired?ahhh!sandy you need to help me find my spatula
SA:why?
SB:because mr.krabs will fire me if I don't
SA:well,why didn't you say so lets look
(SA and SB search)
SA:here,no,no
SB:I found it!
SA:where?
SB:on top of squidward's house,well I wonder why it was there
SA:well i gotta go,bye
SB:b----AHHHH the krusty krab closes in ten seconds!
KR:spongebob your late!your fired!!
SB:fired?
end of part 3

so how is it PLEASE TELL ME!
 

Offline Daniel

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2004, 07:25:35 am »
10/10

I liked it.

Offline Squiddy

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2004, 08:59:08 am »
I didn't like the beggining...SB likes Squidward...he wouldn't want to annoy him?

Patrick

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2004, 11:20:46 am »
Quote
BIKINI BOTTOM ROBBERY
           PART 1!
Narrator:ahhh what a perfect day in bikini bottom lets check in on our old friend spongebob
(alarm blows)
SB:its april 25th gary,You know what thats means!
gary:meow
SB:thats right its annoy squidward day!,HEY SQUID YOUR MUSIC STINKS!
SQ:ARRRGHH,WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MUSIC PUNK?
Patrick:He's right squid your music is so bad a sea dog wouldn't even like it!
PA and SB:heh heh heh HA HA!
SQ:WHY ARE YOU FLAMING MY MUSIC???!!!
SB:because its our national holiday Annoy squidward day!
SQ:No its not that was in january
SB:ohh,so what,your music stinks and you live in an itsy bitsy head
SQ:OH yeah lets see you play!
PA:okay but we signed up for clarinet lessons last year and we are advanced players.
(good music plays)
Crowd:WHAOOO!
SQ:GRRR,i'm gonna-------
11:00 PM:
SB:good night gary
GA:meow!
(snores)
(Door squeals open)

TO BE CONTINUED.......
what do you think so far?please tell me
No offense, but it was very bad. Don't do script form, it makes it way worse. Also, there are no capitals, way to short (spend actual tiem on it) and you typed all in capitals for one part.
1/10 for effort.

Offline Squiddy

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2004, 11:21:51 am »
My rating is 0.5/10...sorry, what Patrick said!

Squid's Bro

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2004, 02:51:44 pm »
I liked it. 8/10

P.S. there really is an Annoy Squidward Day (says so in Employee of the Month), so it's true that they would be mean to Squidward

Offline Squiddy

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2004, 07:42:21 am »
Ya...but it sounds like SB was saying, lets annoy Squidward hes we don't like him?

spongey675

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2004, 03:38:13 pm »
ugh i don't know when to excpect part 4

Offline Daniel

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Bikini Bottom Robbery
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2004, 09:39:52 pm »
Quote
ugh i don't know when to excpect part 4
What does that mean?