Get a load of the new guy.
Phil McHawk is ready to chat.
Hi Everybody! My name is Phil and I'm so gosh darned happy to meet you guys, I just can't get a hold of myself. I heard some friends one day talking about the message boards around here and I realized that the fun-loving, almost Sponge-bob-void forums on the Spongezone were the right place for me. Ussually when I'm in class and I start talking off the main subject I get a firm slap on the wrist and walk away from the whole thing feeling just a little gosh darned sour. But here, I can talk about why I beleive Burt and Ernie are gay, or ask "why is it that Nestle owns M&M's, Skittles, Baby Ruth and Mr. Good-bar, but not Mello Yellow?"
Why, when I heard about some of the mundane and ultimately pointless posts submitted by the members I was taken aback. Where have I been all these years? Growing up, I assure you, and working hard to mold myself into the sexy, taut shape you see today. Phil McHawk wasn't always that appealing, let me tell you, McHawk wasn't nearly as firm or large as today's me. How did McHawk get so big? Why am I speaking in the 3rd person? Hey, those are just some more of the random crap you can expect to hear from the one and only,
Phil McHawk
-- Hey, we're all here to talk about Spongebob, right? Oh . . . we're not? Well, I guess that's . . . kinda . . . okay. --