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Author Topic: I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?  (Read 10038 times)

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Offline DiE HaRrD PuNk

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« on: January 05, 2004, 08:30:04 am »
plankton wants to steal the krabbypatty once again,so he sends spongebob,patrick,mr.krabs squidward,gary(spongebob had to bring him) (and they didnt know it was plankton who gave them the trip)squilliam was already going,cuz plankton asked squilliam if he could get all these people outa the way,pearl,and sandy,well they were sent the the coconut islands and on the way the plane crashed,no one was hurt,so they swam to the shore of the coconut islands,with no food water,or supplies,everyonestarts to fight because of hunger and thirst,so they split into two teams,and here they are....




silver team

spongebob
Gary
Patrick
squidward

Gold team

mr.krabs
squilliam
pearl
sandy


sandy starts beating every1 up,and people fight back,pearl cheers on spongebob,patrick jumps on everyony and gary tries to meow over all the noise,but it doesnt work,Mr. krabs takes his claws and wacks sandy,while spongebob gets punched by squidward,but since spongebob is a sponge,it has no effect whatsoever.Squilliam starts making fun of squidward and kicks sand in his eye.Gary pulls a loudspeaker out of his shell and tells every1 to stop fighting,everyone froze from beating each other up,while they just stared at patrick punching himself and kicking himself......they start to whisper and walk away.gary followed spongebob to go make or find shelter.




To be continued, so what do u think?


 
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Offline Spider-Boogie

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2004, 09:34:20 am »
Why'd you make a double topic?
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Offline DiE HaRrD PuNk

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2004, 10:35:31 am »
one is a poll
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Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of (Dr. Seuss's) 'Hop on Pop.'
    --George w. Bush

Washington, DC
04/02/2002


 
Names Rachel....call me that or Rae...whichever.. :P

<33 Asian Guys Are Hawt<33


www.myspace.com/punkshorty

Offline SizzlinSean

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2004, 11:25:36 am »
It's too short. Also its written kind of strange. Like in third person almost. It's just way too short to have any depth. I give it a two out of five.

EDIT: Sorry heres some suggestions. Make it a little longer. When its too short it doesn't give room for depth.

Don't write so much in third person. It just makes it more confusing.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2004, 04:22:35 pm by SizzlinSean »
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Patrick

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2004, 01:36:34 pm »
2/10

Don't do stuff like "cuz" or "every1". That's just wrong. The introduction is bad to. Also, use periods and don't smoosh (is that a word) everything and do stuff really fast. Detail is your friend.
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super_sayian_spongebob

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2004, 02:45:12 pm »
No offense but it sucked.  
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Patrick

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2004, 04:16:03 pm »
PEOPLE! If you gonan say it sucks, give ways on how to improve it and why you didn't like it.
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Offline Spider-Boogie

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2004, 05:17:49 pm »
Quote
PEOPLE! If you gonan say it sucks, give ways on how to improve it and why you didn't like it.
Yeah, you say this only hours after you say:

Quote
2/10
Don't do stuff like "cuz" or "every1". That's just wrong. The introduction is bad to. Also, use periods and don't smoosh (is that a word) everything and do stuff really fast. Detail is your friend.

I didn't like it because it's too short & because they're are too many survivors.
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April Fool: I'm the April Fool. What's up with that?
Timmy: It's official, this guy sucks. I wish he was somewhere else!
*Poof!*
Timmy: Where'd you guys poof him to?
*Both fairies give evil smiles*
April Fool: I never asked for this!
Jorgen: Shut up, or I'll have Chuck Norris roundhouse kick you in the face again!

Rachel is my USB wife <3
Vicky is also my USB wife <3

Patrick

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2004, 06:00:11 pm »
Quote
Quote
PEOPLE! If you gonan say it sucks, give ways on how to improve it and why you didn't like it.
Yeah, you say this only hours after you say:

Quote
2/10
Don't do stuff like "cuz" or "every1". That's just wrong. The introduction is bad to. Also, use periods and don't smoosh (is that a word) everything and do stuff really fast. Detail is your friend.

 
So...what's your point? I did say on how to improve it and why I didn't like it.
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Rabble

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2004, 09:06:03 pm »
4/10
it wasn't bad just reallly short
« Last Edit: January 05, 2004, 09:10:30 pm by evilspong »
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Offline DiE HaRrD PuNk

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2004, 11:51:01 am »
people i said TO BE CONTINUED..... and its my 1st fanfic and my mom wanted me to hurry up and get off the pc so i put ever1 and cuz and stuff like dat
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Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of (Dr. Seuss's) 'Hop on Pop.'
    --George w. Bush

Washington, DC
04/02/2002


 
Names Rachel....call me that or Rae...whichever.. :P

<33 Asian Guys Are Hawt<33


www.myspace.com/punkshorty

Patrick

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2004, 12:50:47 pm »
That's why you don't rush it. You can work on it after you were able to get on the computer again.
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Planet Schmanet

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2004, 06:37:25 am »
Well, that wasn't good at all.  I'm being honest, not mean.

For one thing you don't use proper grammar, spelling, or punctuation.  From the way you wrote it it seems like your telling the story too much instead of the story explaining itself.  

Plot wise it wasn't very good either.  It was too jumpy and there was no dialogue.  You just told us that "Gary said stop fighting".  Another thing, the plot is kind un-realistic in the world of Sponge Bob.  

So in conclusion, it doesn't seem like much of a fanfic at all.  Basically a synopsis of one you thought of writing.  If you are being rushed to write something, it's better to put it off until you have time to write properly.

Better luck next time.
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spongehead 32

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2004, 08:35:02 am »
honestly I think it was not particularly good

you had a good idea but you made it a bit unrealistic and unspongbob like

needs work

a lot of work

but maby it will improve in the continued part

 
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SpongebobFreek5505

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2004, 02:10:32 pm »
well the teams idea was great but i think you should try to make it more detailed and longer :huh:  
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SpongebobFreek5505

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2004, 04:13:14 pm »
they have water...arent they on an island? arent they in water?
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mermaidman97007

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I Made A Fanfic Is It Good Or Bad?
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2004, 04:22:08 pm »
Quote
honestly I think it was not particularly good

you had a good idea but you made it a bit unrealistic and unspongbob like

needs work

a lot of work

but maby it will improve in the continued part
Quote

  well the teams idea was great but i think you should try to make it more detailed and longer  

SpongebobFreek, please read the rules! If a topic hasn't been posted in in two weeks, or more. Dont post in it. Also, do not Double post! T3h w4rned!
« Last Edit: February 18, 2004, 04:22:19 pm by mermaidman97007 »
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