Eh, I'll give it a try.
(ahem) It was a bright and sunny morning in the peaceful town of Insert Town Name Here , and the time was around 6:00 AM, time for Bob the Banana to wake up. Bob had a big day ahead of him, he had a job interview with the local Insert Town Name Here newspaper scheduled around 8:00 AM, so Bob was very anxious for the day ahead of him. He did his usual normal morning routine, and was about to step into the kitchen to make himself breakfast. Once he stepped in though, he spotted a large alligator sitting inside the room, cradling a telephone.
Bob, perplexed as to how the heck did an alligator get into his kitchen, shouted:
Bob the Banana: How the heck did an alligator get into my kitchen?
Alligator: Hey, sorry for budging in like this.
Bob the Banana (startled): Uhhhh.....
Alligator: Anyway, I need to make a phone call, so would it be OK if I used your phone?
Bob the Banana: Ummm.... you can talk?
Alligator: Yeah, so?
Bob the Banana: Uhhh.... alligators can't talk.
Alligator: Uhh, yes they can . Sheesh.. next you're gonna tell me pigs can't fly, anyway, can I make this phone call?
Bob the Banana: Wait, since when have alligators been able to speak? And since when have alligators been able to use telephones?
Alligator: Since ever. Look, can I make this call now? I need to call an auto repair guy or something... my car broke down and I....
Bob the Banana: Wait... you can drive, too?!?!?! How the heck can an alligator drive, talk, or do any of these things?!?!?
Alligator: Would you shut up?!? I need to make this call, dangit. And why are you asking me these questions? You're a friggin banana. You're an inanimate object, for pete's sake. How the heck can you talk?!?!?
Bob the Banana: Answer my question first, dangit!!!!!!
Alligator: NO! LET ME MAKE THIS PHONE CALL, OR ELSE!!!!!
Bob the Banana: NO! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU TALKING FREAK!!!
Alligator: WHY YOU LITTLE......
The alligator devours Bob the Banana. Bob the Banana is dead. And so ends our story.
(reads my story above) Good gravy, this has to be the dumbest thing ever written....