Faith is the ultimate Catch 22. I'm starting my own religion. Yolta, the giant chicken being from the twelfth dimension has spoken through me to write these basic tenets of the Yoltarian faith.
1. Yolta has always and will always exist.
2. You must worship Yolta, always, because Yolta chooses your past, your present, and your future.
3. You cannot doubt Yolta because you think you do not see her. She is everything that is around you. You do not need proof. Yolta tells you, therefore you believe. Proof is for the blind of faith.
4. Those I speak through are the chosen ones. Never doubt thier word. They are merely vessels of my ultimate being. If you disagree with anything one of my vessels says, you will be labelled a heathen.
5. I invented the universe and created man. You cannot say I did not because you did not see the creation of the universe or the creation of man. Therefore, I am correct.
6. Yolta declares that all faiths other than Yoltarianism are heathen, and all those who worship false idols such as "God" and "Jesus" will face an eternity stuck in a Yolta's egg. All Yoltarians will face blissful eternity in the feather loft.